Mario gets out of jail recently getting caught after a bank robbery with his old time mate Ali , had escaped from the robbery leaving Mario behind and he got arrested for 4 years . Ali called Mario welcoming him back home and that he wants it just like old times . Ali and Mario hang around the streets of Coventry , Mario needed a place to go sleep he stayed at Ali house for a night. the next day Mario had to go to the Prison to collect his Stuff So Ali gave him a ride to the Prison and told him meet me here 1 hour
1 hour later Ali picks up Mario and takes him for a long drive around Foleshill and told Listen . do you want to do . a last job.Mario said what are the risk there ain't no risk man lets do it . Ali drove to Sidney Stringer School and showed him here it is. there is a guy called Tony montana he has 100k stored in the vault on the basement floor ok We need to some Become friend with Tony montana and make him open the safe vault. Another day went and back at Ali crib Mario rolled up a Weed Cuban Cigarette Mario smoked it and Started coughing because he never had i for a long time
Mario Was outside school Looking for Tony montana to come to collect The Cash money from the vault its was really dark mario sneaked into the school behind him and then came . The vault . Tony montana opend it and it revealed the 100k Mario wanted it to be a stealth mission and quite so he strangeld zahaib with a thick rope as he chocked he dropped on the floor Mario Loaded all the money in bags Ali was waithing in the back with his car Mario Loaded the bags and Drove fast in the other direction . They arrived back at his crib they unpacked the bags in Ali house and split the money and both of them left the country. 10 years Later Mario is a successful business man selling cars and had 3 kids Ali Was Sent down to jail for Rape
1 hour later Ali picks up Mario and takes him for a long drive around Foleshill and told Listen . do you want to do . a last job.Mario said what are the risk there ain't no risk man lets do it . Ali drove to Sidney Stringer School and showed him here it is. there is a guy called Tony montana he has 100k stored in the vault on the basement floor ok We need to some Become friend with Tony montana and make him open the safe vault. Another day went and back at Ali crib Mario rolled up a Weed Cuban Cigarette Mario smoked it and Started coughing because he never had i for a long time
Mario Was outside school Looking for Tony montana to come to collect The Cash money from the vault its was really dark mario sneaked into the school behind him and then came . The vault . Tony montana opend it and it revealed the 100k Mario wanted it to be a stealth mission and quite so he strangeld zahaib with a thick rope as he chocked he dropped on the floor Mario Loaded all the money in bags Ali was waithing in the back with his car Mario Loaded the bags and Drove fast in the other direction . They arrived back at his crib they unpacked the bags in Ali house and split the money and both of them left the country. 10 years Later Mario is a successful business man selling cars and had 3 kids Ali Was Sent down to jail for Rape
Good points -
ReplyDeleteDetailed
Everything can be done at school
Bad points -
Is not that clear
Reviewed by Ali
Good work here, I agree with the comments made. I would cut out the smoking and change the character's name from Tony Montana- there's a little film called Scarface which already has a drug dealer called Tony Montana.
ReplyDeleteNext you need to break the treatment down into its individual scenes.